post-exams!

for practically 3 weeks, exams took a mean chokehold on my life.
and they just had to put it after the christmas-new year season so the entire time, although we had gatherings and such to celebrate, at the back of my mind was a continuing loop of OMG EXAMS SHIT EXAMS HOW NOW EXAMS and the like..

it was sooo torturous. sucks being locked up in the room/lib overlooking a busy street with happy happy joy joy people bustling in and out of shopping malls enjoying the holiday while i had to cram in 100+ lectures.

the panic, mayhem, anxiety and talk of the apocalypse!!.. enough is enough! NO MORE. i will not put myself under such circumstances ever again. its way too stressful and i killed off about half a million neurons on the way.

so...

note to self/new year resolution/WHATEVER-JUST-DO-IT: next sem i will be a good nerd and read through the next days lecture over and UNDERSTAND it.

learnt my lesson the hard way. im not used to sitting long hours in the lecture theatre. no matter how engaging the lecturer is, my mind would drift away in..10 mins. seriously, i spend more of my energy trying to stay awake/look like im paying attn/stop myself from staring at the damn clock rather than listening. logical solution is to go through them at home after the lectures right? but after a looong day all i want to do is relax, push it aside and zzzz!

and the thing about cardsigning. yeah i guess its a good way of forcing us to study anatomy but if my cardsigning was this week for example, the whole week would be devoted to anatomy. and i'ld totally ignore the rest. because all i could see was short term and not the big picture. well, i did see it, just didnt care about it until..its too late.

as you could imagine day after day, piling up the lectures into neat stacks never really looking at them until it was 3 weeks before the exams and i start panicking. took a good look through them and

"NOOooooo waaaay, im SURE we werent taught this before"

or
" did i actually attend this lecture? "

i could swear ive never came across half of them before!

and then i vaguely remembering myself sitting at O'flanagan theatre or coming across little scribbles consolidating that indeed, i was there.

so in short, i was starting from scratch, squashing 3 months of material into 3 weeks. not fun.

yep, it wont come as a surprise to me if i have to resit any of the papers. i quite deserve it. oh well, its 1st sem getting to know+ adjusting to a comparitively new system and exam qns ohhh the exam questions!!! the horrorr! ok we wont talk about it :( think happy thoughts think happy thoughts so i guess ild just have to learn from this one and HOPEFULLY have a better strategy next sem. im not expecting myself to know everything right down to where the coma is placed, just the big picture so i wont be running around like a headless chicken when exams loom near. and this is not so much to ask, right? right or not jasmine??

1st signs of a nervous breakdown is talking to yourself. on your own blog. kidding. im sane really i am. :D

ANYWAY,

now that its over, it really feels like new year! so, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! eventho im like..25 days late :P enjoyed myself in these few days of freedom, resembling more like a pig and having my sleeping hours distorted. ah this is the life.

oh yeah. ild be spending the rest of the holidays from the 2nd day of cny onwards in paris! from the 27th jan to 3rd feb. would be spending a few days in belgium too. oh this would make a significant dent to my bank acc once im back but im gonna make the most out of this trip and enjoy myself to the max max max-est as this might well be my last trip abroad. (coz results are coming out on feb 5 so...you know, i know)

but till then, la vie est merveilleuse!

pretty much sums it up

anatomy practical exams a few days back,


"Miss Jasmine, are you... nervous?"


"Petrified."

still alive

3 more papers to go! have not touched any of them except for abit of neuromuscular, so before i start to cram for them, ild leave you with a song (besides hillsong's salvation is here) thats been playing on repeat while i study.

secondhand serenade's best song in my opinion :)

STRANGER

Turn Around

Turn Around

and fix your eye in my direction

So there is a connection

I can't speak

I can't make a sound to somehow capture your attention

I'm staring at perfection

take a look at me so you can see how beautiful you are

you call me a stranger

you say I'm a danger

but all these thoughts are leaving you tonight

I'm broke and abandoned

you are an angel

making all my dreams come true tonight

I'm confident

but I can't pretend I wasn't terrified to meet you

I knew you could see right through me

I saw my life flash right before my very eyes

and I knew just what we'd turn into

I was hoping that you could see

Your beauty seems so far away

I'd have to write a thousand songs to make you comprehend how beautiful you are

I know that I can't make you stay but

I would give my final breathe to make you understand how beautiful you are

**

what is it again?

EXAMS START TOMORROW!

and end 22nd Jan

*takes deep breath*


AHHHHRRRGGGGhhhhhHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh!!!!

i will not panic
i will not panic
i will not panic.

but one more time,

AAAHHHHrrrrGGGgghhHHHHHHHHhhhhHHH!!!!!!!

gonna need all of God's grace.

For who You are

Standing here in Your presence

Thinking of the good things You have done

Waiting here

Patiently

Just to hear the still small voice again

Holy, Righteous, Faithful til the end

Saviour, Healer, Redeemer and Friend

I will worship You for who You are

I will worship You for who You are

I will worship You for who You are

Jesus

My soul secure

Your promise sure

Your love endures

Always

For who You are- Hillsong United

distracted

yup blogging to take a break from studying. i need a miracle to pass!

anyway,
glasgow was as my dad described it.(he spend a year there doing his scottish higher leaving cert) grey and gloomy. morning, afternoon no difference still grey and gloomy. day 2 and we were already feeling slightly depressed! how do the glasgowians survive??

but of course with good company all these were overlooked. :D

it was lovely! more of a relaxed setting than the fast paced one in belfast. couldve spend more time at kevingrove art museum tho. now that i think of it, i kinda miss the hostel and its retro vibe. i hate the beds tho. so terribly hard.

that week was the most hectic week ever! BRIEF RECAP.

tuesday we attended evelyn's carolling thing. omg shes so amazing on the piano. wednesday spent time decorating the christmas tree for pmc farewell. thursday, pmc farewell itself, was a volunteer to serve food to the vips. am happy to report it was a thundering success mainly because i didnt trip or drop a steaming plate of food on anyone :D the whole team did well. everything went smoothly and everyone, i can safely say, thoroughly enjoyed themselves.

was even pulled into an irish dance! omg i didnt know what was i doing, my partner, a lady who i was serving, grabbed me by the hand and pulled me to the dance floor once Dr McGarvey called for participants! just mimicking all her steps and failing miserably. good fun.

a bunch of seniors sang 'leaving on a jet plane' they tweaked the lyrics abit.it was sooo sad i almost cried. and its not even my farewell! im sure when its my turn to leave ild be losing gallons of tears.

went home that night and had to cram for cardsigning which after a few hours i just went 'AH SCREW IT' and went to bed.

friday, alarm went off , kinda threw it across the room. late for class, cardsigning at 2pm and i got kelly! someone you never ever want to get for cardsigning. he has a great reputation for asking the most 'amazing' qns. was 1st up, asked me EXACTLY what i didnt want to be asked. the details of the uterus's lymphatics which i only know a general view of. yup, its so my day!

drilled me summore. in the end,
'you get a B+, you're very near an A'

wow, that really helps. only one guy managed to scrape an A off him. salutations.

rushed home, got to the tourism centre, changed our euros to pounds and then did the mcq test. it was so.freakin.hard.period. did laundry and packed for glasgow and slept at 3am. left dublin and touched down preswick airport at about noon.

came back on monday night. trouble at the airport. sooo frustrating! but thats another story to tell another time.

its not that glasgow's terrible. but as we were walking through grafton street with the lights up for christmas at midnight dragging our luggage bags to the dorm, we realised, dublin really is home.

yeah, dublins not all that but its funny how in just two short months, it has captured our hearts. baile atha cliath, its good to be back. :)

SIGH!

pictures of belfast-giant's causeway-derry is up on facebook. :)

arghhh cant take anymore anatomy facts of the abs anymoree! been procrastinating all weekend, i feel so damn guilty and its 1048pm. and i dont remember how i persuaded myself to come online and here i am blogging! and im using too many ands. oh well since im at it might as well rant in full glory.

4 days to friday, the final cardsigning of the sem! need to learn lowerlimb-abs-pelvic!on the same day, theres an online mcq test on whatever we have learnt so far which for me is nada. exams are in a month and im supposed to have covered at least half the material!! pmc farewell dinner on thurs which im helping to decorate..OMG!!

positive note: will be spending the weekend+ monday at glasgow after this hectic week so im quite looking forward to it.

hmm i think i should start camping at the library. without my laptop (stupid facebook) and surround myself with books. maybe info would get into my brain by osmosis. =.=' thank god the hbs assignment is out of the way. its 15% of finals so pleaase let it be good. ive seen sample qns on hbs which is OMG.wth.is. going.on inducing, its thinking skills over again!! well, at least no math..

people generally know how to study as in they know what works for them/ having certain study habits which effectively helped them over the years. like making certain types of notes or getting up earlier to study and stuff.y'noe the study patterns. BUT I DONT! all i do is cram during the last week and have lots and lots of luck which is running out. and prayer. but if dont do my part its not like God will want to do His! oh woe is me. yup i brought this on myself. ah please please please if i pass 1st sem i will read through my notes everynight!! no, REALLY! ok this wont work.

its not that im not interested in what im studying, i am. if i took it one day at a time instead of leaving it off to the last minute where it doesnt matter if i liked it or not i just have to get the facts in. and that is NOT fun. i never learn, do i?

okayyy back to my gray's anatomy for students with online access and interactive extras(studentconsult.com). yes, i stared at the cover so many times while willing myself to study that i can memorise it. as if 'name your anatomy book- 10 marks' would ever come out in exams. :P

ah..glasgoww!!!! i mean, er, abdomen!!