for practically 3 weeks, exams took a mean chokehold on my life.
and they just had to put it after the christmas-new year season so the entire time, although we had gatherings and such to celebrate, at the back of my mind was a continuing loop of OMG EXAMS SHIT EXAMS HOW NOW EXAMS and the like..
it was sooo torturous. sucks being locked up in the room/lib overlooking a busy street with happy happy joy joy people bustling in and out of shopping malls enjoying the holiday while i had to cram in 100+ lectures.
the panic, mayhem, anxiety and talk of the apocalypse!!.. enough is enough! NO MORE. i will not put myself under such circumstances ever again. its way too stressful and i killed off about half a million neurons on the way.
so...
note to self/new year resolution/WHATEVER-JUST-DO-IT: next sem i will be a good nerd and read through the next days lecture over and UNDERSTAND it.
learnt my lesson the hard way. im not used to sitting long hours in the lecture theatre. no matter how engaging the lecturer is, my mind would drift away in..10 mins. seriously, i spend more of my energy trying to stay awake/look like im paying attn/stop myself from staring at the damn clock rather than listening. logical solution is to go through them at home after the lectures right? but after a looong day all i want to do is relax, push it aside and zzzz!
and the thing about cardsigning. yeah i guess its a good way of forcing us to study anatomy but if my cardsigning was this week for example, the whole week would be devoted to anatomy. and i'ld totally ignore the rest. because all i could see was short term and not the big picture. well, i did see it, just didnt care about it until..its too late.
as you could imagine day after day, piling up the lectures into neat stacks never really looking at them until it was 3 weeks before the exams and i start panicking. took a good look through them and
"NOOooooo waaaay, im SURE we werent taught this before"
or
" did i actually attend this lecture? "
i could swear ive never came across half of them before!
and then i vaguely remembering myself sitting at O'flanagan theatre or coming across little scribbles consolidating that indeed, i was there.
so in short, i was starting from scratch, squashing 3 months of material into 3 weeks. not fun.
yep, it wont come as a surprise to me if i have to resit any of the papers. i quite deserve it. oh well, its 1st sem getting to know+ adjusting to a comparitively new system and exam qns
ohhh the exam questions!!! the horrorr! ok we wont talk about it :( think happy thoughts think happy thoughts so i guess ild just have to learn from this one and HOPEFULLY have a better strategy next sem. im not expecting myself to know everything right down to where the coma is placed, just the big picture so i wont be running around like a headless chicken when exams loom near. and this is not so much to ask, right? right or not jasmine??
1st signs of a nervous breakdown is talking to yourself. on your own blog. kidding. im sane really i am. :D
ANYWAY,
now that its over, it really feels like new year! so, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! eventho im like..25 days late :P enjoyed myself in these few days of freedom, resembling more like a pig and having my sleeping hours distorted. ah this is the life.
oh yeah. ild be spending the rest of the holidays from the 2nd day of cny onwards in paris! from the 27th jan to 3rd feb. would be spending a few days in belgium too. oh this would make a significant dent to my bank acc once im back but im gonna make the most out of this trip and enjoy myself to the max max max-est as this might well be my last trip abroad. (coz results are coming out on feb 5 so...you know, i know)
but till then, la vie est merveilleuse!
